Loving What Is, how the heck do ya do that?

This afternoon, I listened to a Interview of Byron Katie with David Wood and wanted to share some excitment around The Work.    I read the book, “Loving What Is” by Byron Katie and this book is all about being brutally honest with ourselves about what is really occuring in our lives.

The philosophy of The Work is to have peace of mind, we must learn to not just Accept what is, but we must LOVE WHAT IS to transform it.  You can’t transform what you hide.

Just so you know, Byron Katie, in my humble estimation, is  The Coach Supreme, of course, behind Marion Franklin, who taught me how to coach.

What Byron Katie begins with is the principle that ……sometimes we believe our thoughts instead of what is really true and correct about a situation.  In our defense as human beings, in the absence of confirmed and proven data, our thoughts serve us options.    Often, we believe our thoughts, regardless of what is really true, this alone causes a huge block to someone’s happiness. 

Here is my synopsis of the conversation:  

Byron Katie offers everyone the opportunity to “test all concepts, ideas, thoughts, and perceptions by a truthful litmus test”.  She in her own words say, “We offer a way to identify and then question what you believe to be true.  Anyone with an open mind can do this in their life and everyone NEEDS to do this in their life.  

Let’s use the example they used in the Interview of someone you feel doesn’t care about you. 

Question Number 1:  Is this true?

Question Number 2:  Can you absolutely know that this is true?

NOTE:  You are invited to answer a yes or no to the questions above.  Maybe’s and I don’t know’s will not provide the necessary clarity.


to where your mind goes when you go here.  
allow Yes or No only to be enough

Question 3:  What happens when you believe that?

INVITATION FROM BYRON KATIE:  Allow the images to come up and allow the voices and situations, the comparisons, hear your thoughts.  Do you punish that person for not caring about you?  If they are not in the room with you, how do you react?  What physically happens when you feel these feelings?  How do treat yourself when you think these thoughts?  Do we get frustrated?  Angry?  Shut down?  Do we eat?  Do we smoke?  Do we ultimately begin to see ourselves lacking because of this belief.

Question 4:  Who would you be without that thought?  What would the situation look like if nothing changed, except your one belief?  What is possible now?  

The next piece of The Work Byron Katie talks about is the TURNAROUND, this is where the Second transformation comes in:

Let’s take the example above, “he/she doesn’t care about me” and turn it around and ask:

How are we caring for ourselves?

INVITATION:  Listen to the self talk that comes up.  What other ways do you find that you don’t care about you?  How can I expect them to care about me when I don’t care about me? 

Please check out The Work!

The Happiness Chick