What to do with frustration!
So let’s spend tonight talking about frustrations. Let’s start by calling them out, what are the most common frustrations?
- People won’t do things the way I want.
- People don’t communicate they way I would like.
- I don’t have enough money to do what I want in my life.
- People only care about themselves, they don’t care about others.
- I don’t have enough time to get everything done.
- People aren’t loyal to one another.
- You can’t trust the government. <threw that in to see if you were awake!!>
- Life is hard.
Ok, so what do we do with this stuff! How do we manage our frustrations? I’ve read some great articles and books over the years about physical activity, verbalizing, psychology, behavioral management, and so on and so on…blah, blah, blah…Here’s a process that has worked over and over that I’d like to share.
- Identify my frustration for what it is, being brutally honest with myself.
- If necessary, take a little break, removing myself from the immediate frustration, allowing me time to get clear and cool my nerves.
- Talk to trusted and supportive “venting partners”.
- Take accountability for any part I’ve played in my own frustration.
- Take positive and collaborative action toward resolution of the frustration.
Inside this “taking positive and collaborative action” there is power and inspiration.
Some us get “stuck” in the discussing of the frustrations only to find ourselves more frustrated. Or even worst, we pick the WRONG venting partner only to be more frustrated by their need to fix, not allowing us the process of working it out for ourselves.
The important part of the process above for me are the “selecting the appropriate venting partner” and “take positive and collaborative action”.
Let me define what these are:
Appropriate Venting Partners: those who you can “vent” to without them attempting to fix, agree, judge, or feed the rant. Someone who allows you to work it out inside yourself, giving you their feedback, only when asked and only in areas that allow you to come up with a positive and collaborative solution.
“Positive and Collaborative Resolution”: Actions that produce growth or fulfillment for ourselves and others. Coming up with solutions that enhance relationships and trust. Just by adding the “collaboration” piece, allows us to remove the self-serving and judgmentalness out of our frustration, allowing us the opportunity to be more creative with our actions and our dealings with others.
Would love to hear any processes or things you do to alleviate your frustrations and keep you focuses and inspired!